The Death of the Beautiful Game - by Stephen Morris @ 12:54pm 15/07/07
Football as we all know it is dying. Fact. Poring through reports from the Champions League final I have come across learned statements from our erstwhile wannabee Prime Minister, Michael Howard.
Post Athens, Michael decided to jump onto his soap box, and using his superlative oratory skills – honed at the Bar (the last bastion of the terraces) - felt it his place to speak on behalf of hundreds of fans who missed the biggest event in the football calendar after spending hundreds of hard earned pounds to get there. He’d been there you see. Amongst them. One of them.
What were you thinking, Michael? Find me a more suitable chap to sit at the opposite end of the spectrum to the run of the mill football fan, and I’ll say: “Oh yeh. You’re right. Another politician.”
But surely Michael is the worst. I’d rather listen to Blair skip off into retirement with a black and white shirt on his back merrily singing about ‘ganning down the Scotsford Road’ whilst questioning an aide on this Mark McDonald bloke that people keep banging about. I could cope with that. I can’t cope with Michael.
What right Michael thought he had to appoint himself man of the people is a question that only he can attempt to answer. If you’re struggling Michael, maybe refer to the Wikipedia excerpt of your love at first sight relationship with The Kop.
“Michael fought the seat of Edge Hill, Liverpool in 1966 and 1970. These races led to his support of Liverpool F.C.”
He was 25 and 29 at the time of these elections. Quite why it led to his belated love affair I’m not so sure. For their part, the people of Liverpool reacted to Michael’s open arms by giving him a firm drop of the shoulder and a swift body swerve. Twice. In 1966 and 1970. Brilliant. Looks like unrequited love there, Michael. And a very welcome pre-emptive strike for the poll tax that you, in your infinite wisdom, would later unleash on to a desperate public. It seems that Michael’s love would prove to be tough love.
The game that we love has very few life signs, and something has to be done to resuscitate it because the last rites were called in response to the ticketing scandals that were the 2007 Finals of the European Cup, Playoffs and F.A.Cup.
Back to Michael. Liverpool F.C. is set to move to a larger ground in a couple of years. I hope you’ll join me in keeping your fingers and toes tightly crossed to pray that somewhere, amongst the heavily increased capacity of New Anfield, Liverpool F.C. can find a seat somewhere for our Citizen Howard. The back corner of the Car Park would be just the ticket.